*****************

*****************

What Part Do I Play?

Dad continued.  (see herethen here.)

We needed to have dad at the hospital by 5:30 am.  That time of the morning is not the norm for me.  I did my best to lay out my clothes the night before so I wouldn't be shuffling through my bag all dazed and confused.  But ya' know what?  At 4:00 am I AM dazed and confused, I don't care how prepped I think I am.  There isn't enough java in the world to get my brain on track.  But that's ok.  Being a bit numb while admitting your father for surgery feels just fine to me.

After he was all gowned and gurneyed we were told that the stent procedure would take about 45 min. so we headed to the hospital cafe for breakfast.  My sister would rather be in the operating room, not waiting in the cafe, so we ate our breakfast bagel and headed back to the waiting room.  Good timing.  Our names were called for a post-op consult with the surgeon. 

Wow.  My dad's procedure was on the computer monitor.  I was looking at my dad's heart.  Wow.

We were told that the stent was placed however, that was not the issue.  His heart is weak. Very weak.  I thought the stent would fix it all and away we'd go.  Let's get this blood flowing and get outta here!

Nope. 

My dad is not the best patient.  Let's just say that I now know which parent I take after when it comes to anger.  Egads I would HATE to be his nurse.

I know he's scared.  He's terrified.  I get that, as much as I can anyway.  We're reconnecting at such a stressful time.  I don't really know what part I'm supposed to play.  Daughter.  Care Giver.  It's difficult to make sense of it all. 

Ahhh... I'm not going to try and figure it all out now.  Day by day.  Just be in the moment.  I'll figure things out later.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

3 comments:

  1. I remember seeing my Dad in the recovery room after triple by-pass surgery. He was gray. I was so scared. He was scared. I just tried to listen to him, validate how he was feeling, and try to make him laugh.

    You, your father, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, day by day. That is a very smart way to do this. It's hard. So hard. Sending you big hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just be real. The only part you have to play is Ann. My prayers are with you!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to comment! I hope you enjoyed your time here.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin