Skip to main content

Took The Wind Right Out Of Me

It happened again.  After all these years, after all of the conversations, the comment was made and it hit me hard. Took the wind out of me, the words "Dad goes to work".  Dismissing my contributions, struck me right in the heart.

This comment was made by my 15 yrs. old daughter in the middle of a weekend when I was able to provide fun experiences that were new to us, and on track to add funds to the till.  "Dad goes to work".  She followed with the words "Oh, I'm kidding! Just kidding.  You know what I mean, he has an office.  And, well, and..."  Yes.  Yes, I know.  

Rob does provide financially for the whole family.  Without his income we would be in deep doo doo.  I know.  I am thankful everyday for how hard my husband works.  He has never made me feel uncomfortable with my financial contribution.  But my child, my daughter, who is old enough to know better and who I have been having conversations with for years about the parts we play in this family, shot me down.

I am her first guide.  I want to be a woman she looks up to, and with this comment, I felt dismissed, I felt low, I felt ridiculous.  

My husband, Rob, sat on the couch, shaking his head saying, "You're not getting help from me to get out of this one."  I replied like I have in years past when my kids complain about helping with housework, I mentioned the clean clothes that she gets to wear, the food cooked, the blah blah blah.  "I know, I know" she says.  

She didn't want to upset me and she didn't intend to hurt my feelings with her comment.  This is true.  But her comment fed into my guilt about not bringing home the money like my husband does - realizing that his job does not make him happy in the least, and how I wish I could generate his scale of income so he could quit - all of that, all of those thoughts swirl inside me and I feel like crap.  

"Dad goes to work".  Yes he does.  And I do too. 

My work is not in a proper office, I work from home.  My office is the dining room table, a picture window, the smell of dirty dishes in the sink and my laptop.  I don't have a salary, I work on commission.  If I'm going to get paid I have to look for work that will pay me.  Every. Single. Day.  And I do this while taking care of my family, the house, our pets.  CFO, CEO, chauffeur and cook (not my strong suit, but I'm getting better at it!).  My husband and I decided on this arrangement for our family.

It just breaks my heart that at age 15 my daughter doesn't think I work.  After the years of explaining what I do, (and she reaps the benefits of what I do!) that she still doesn't get it.  How am I missing the mark here?   Have you had this experience?  What did you do?  How did you handle it?

*To read more Tuesday Truth:

~ "It's Getting Hot In Here"

~ "Talked Myself Into It"

Popular posts from this blog

Miss Poodle Perm, That's Me!

Jill of Scary Mommy is doing a linky post about school pictures. You know the ones, possibly you didn't smile a sweet smile, just the smirk of panic. Or you didn't know it was picture day because you had been out sick for a week and you show up in your most comfortable shirt and bed-head. (Yep. That happened to me. The smile was good though!) Well, my scanner isn't working or else I would post a particular picture from Freshman year. Since I don't have a visual, here's the story: I remember my first day of High School. Actually what I remember is the picture taken of me leaving for my first day of High School. I'm wearing a brave smile, but the hair, the hair , my hair style was a nightmare. My two best friends and I were going to be attending a High School out of our district. That was stressful enough. To add to this new-ness we wanted new looks as well. K. was going to sport the Argyle and Alligator shirt look. W. was going for 'All Monogram

This Is Quite The Blog Party! Add Your Blog To Turn It Up Tuesday!

Ever dream of having a day when you receive breakfast in bed, not one lick of housework is done - by you! - and the weather matches the mood of the day, which is 'lovely'.  Well, I had such a day on Mother's Day and I am so grateful to my family.  ( Could we do it again soon?  I vote 'yes! ')  How was your weekend?  Do tell.  I'm so happy to be a guest host for the blog hop Turn It Up Tuesday.  Add your blog link and meet some terrific Bloggers! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Happy Mother's Day!!!! What did you moms out there do today? We'd love to hear it! Share it here on Turn It Up Tuesday! Welcome to the 34th week of Turn It Up Tuesday! Thanks so much to everyone that joins us each week and makes this blog hop the best that it could be! As you may know, Turn It Up Tuesdays is all about being happy, excited, energetic...and having fun! Link up your favorite posts and meet some awesome b

My Questions Answered By Chef Pati Jinich - Video

Rob and I have been focusing on finding foods and spices that will help us take some weight off.  I've been slightly obsessed with staying on my exercise track (on week 8 now :->) and hope to get rid of this jiggly belly that has become wa-a-a-ay too comfortable on my body.  The older you get the harder it is to lose weight.  What I would say to my 40 year old self - 'See that pouch starting?  Do your crunches and planks now!  7 years from now it's going to get ugly !' I've found that spices cumin, cayenne pepper, red pepper flakes and turmeric are noted to increase metabolism.  ( Yes please !)  After a good workout coconut water is more beneficial in regulating your electrolytes, and lower in calories, than sports drinks.  It also contains more potassium than other drinks which is an important component in helping to build muscle which, in turn, helps you burn more calories. And my most surprising discovery - eating avocados help burn belly fat! I&#