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Our New Normal

The stress of our dear Phoebe's passing seems to have taken a toll on my immune system.  I am down with a cold.  Or, not exactly "down", it's more of a cold medicine haze I seem to be in.  Of all times to be sick!   The family needs to stick together and pulling the covers up over my head and lying with a box of Kleenex and chicken noodle soup isn't an option right now.

This is the first year that we didn't get our pumpkin's at the farm.  Just the other night we realized that Halloween was going to be here any moment and we haven't done any carving, and - something I can't believe - we had not bought any Halloween candy!  Our minds and hearts were definitely elsewhere.  Yesterday the girls and I went to a little farmer's market stand just down the street and picked up a couple of pumpkins.  (They came from the same farm we would have gone to anyway, we just saved ourselves some muddy boots.  Trying to stay positive here.)

Last week, every time I arrived home I would look to the special spot where Phoebe was resting, wondering if she was still with us.  Every time I would go around that corner I would check on her, and now I come home and that space is empty.  Her kitty sister has been curled up on a bed these past couple of days.  We've been watching her, trying to notice if there are any changes in her behavior.  One odd difference, she has started eating dry food, which has always been her sisters preference.  I wonder what that's all about?

I think we're done with massive tear-filled conversations before bed.  The girls asking me if we could have done more.  "Why didn't you find out she was sick sooner?" "Why did she have to be put down?"  All questions that make my heart hurt.  This is the first pet that has passed in our family so I'm sure that's why it hurts so much.  I don't know.  We have our sweet cat Maddy, our big chocolate lab Benny and a sweet little Parakeet Jirico.  Our own little Zoo in our tiny house.

If you've lost a pet, was there something special you did to commemorate them?  Please share.


(*"And So It Goes")

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