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I'm Too Tender Hearted

Being a cat hospice care provider is tough on my heart. 

Every 8 hours I give her a dose of pain medicine.  The tumor is in her mouth so she isn't eating.  Normally she eats dry food but since that's difficult for her we have wet food.  That doesn't appeal to her either.  She does go after treats, but you can see that it's painful and she gives up after two bites.   I've put lots of cat nip on the floor and scratch pad and when she gets the energy she rolls about. 

There are times when I look at her and think everything's going to be all right.  My thought process goes from 'She's starting to eat something!  She's feeling better!  All she needs is time.  It's going to be fine.'  Then I take off the wishing goggles and see that she is struggling, she's not really able to eat and realize that this is really happening.

While growing up I had hamsters and parakeets.  But Maddy and Phoebe were the first pets that came to me when I called them, would shadow me around the house, showed me affection and became my little buddies.  Watching my sweet Phoebe go through this is so hard. 

I wish I had a harder heart sometimes.


*A Sister Stands Vigil

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