"Mom, you're weird."
When I heard those words many emotions flooded through me. First, I was happy then laughed. This is a typical thing for a teenager to say to their parent, right? Then I felt at peace and agreed. I do have my own way of looking at things. Then I was uncomfortable and self-conscious. Am I so "weird" that I'm still embarrassing myself in my middle age?
Do you remember having someone make you feel dumb in grade school? Or, middle school? High School? You raise your hand to give an answer only to have the class laugh because the answer is completely wrong. But, in your mind, you see how your answer could work? I mean, I get it. Why don't they? That's pretty much me and my brain, my spirit, how I my life is lived.
Having a brain that works this way requires knowing when to keep quiet and/or having a thick skin, of which I have neither. I am super sensitive to feelings and vibes. Even though the words 'Don't say it. Don't say it.' are swirling in my brain my mouth forms these words and out comes my "weird" thought.
If people had warning labels mine would read: 'I make no sense'. But I do make sense - to myself.
I'm not weird, or dumb. I just see things differently sometimes. Hopefully some day I'll feel more comfortable about it.