Skip to main content

You Would Think I Would Get This Right By Now

After parenting her for 16 years you would think I would get this part right by now.

We're all wired differently.  With my first born child I was given this lesson and it's helped me handle my responses in many situations.  There are those days though, that I forget about her wiring and I get annoyed.  Her anxiety about being in crowds can initially be perceived as shyness that she "just needs to get over" when, in fact, she's having massive anxiety swirling in her brain and she's ready to burst.  Some days I forget.  Yesterday was one of those days and I just feel terrible.

For about a week Katie was looking forward to going to her favorite Asian shopping market, Uwajimaya.  It's a bit of a trek for us so it's special when we get to go (it's also spendy so we need to budget accordingly).  In my mind I'm thinking I'm doing a good thing because a.) we have the funds to go shopping here and b.) I'm taking my girls to one of their favorite stores.  I'm having a 'Yay Mom!' moment.  As we're walking into the store that feeling quickly turns to 'Irritated Mom' and my good vibes are fading.

Walking directly beside me, then walking directly behind me, then bumping into me when I take a step to the left when she thought I was going right.  Ugh.  'Katie, what's the deal?!  Why are you right on top of me?!'  "Sor-ry!" was her reply as she becomes flush and looks at the ground.

We walk in and she looks overwhelmed, lost.  I'm not understanding this because we have been in this store many times and she was the one that wanted this trip.  Instead of taking some moments to process what could be going on I get annoyed and urge her to 'Go!'.  Walking through the first section wasn't smooth so I stopped and asked my girls what they wanted to look at first.  They were in search of a particular kind of tea so I found the Tea aisle and moved to the side so they could go peruse the shelves.

Katie said "There are people in aisle."  'Yes?' I respond.  "I don't know how to get down there", she said.  I'm confused and getting frustrated.  I grabbed our cart and started down the Tea aisle and turned to her to say, 'Well honey, you start walking like this.'  My expression wasn't the most pleasant I'm sure and she wasn't happy either.  The rest of the shopping trip was pretty much this way.  We needed a break so we picked our favorite lunch of chicken, rice and beef udon and sat down to take a break and figure this out.

I learned that my sweet Katie may be 16, she may speak up for herself when ordering now and be able to look you in the eye when you ask her a question but, those are the "good days".  Those are the days when the wiring is sparking, things are flowing, and she is working so hard.  Then, you have the days when things kind of short out, and the disconnect is uncomfortable, painful.  "Be patient with me mom", she said.

How could I forget?  I didn't cry, then.

Her little sister and I listened to Katie describe how it felt to walk into this store, how she perceived the people, the noise.  Lily was able to relate to some of those feelings and it started a nice discussion.  They learned that they weren't alone and had similarities.  I learned that you may grow up, but you don't grow out of your wiring.  It's who you are.  And, I'm reminded... to be patient.

Popular posts from this blog

5 Tips To Find Your Perfect Foundation & Discount Codes!

Picking a foundation at the drugstore can be frustrating since you don't have the advantage of trying it on as you do in retail stores. In light of that, here are some tips on the most proficient method to find your ideal match. Finding foundation at Nordstrom is easy and simple. Visit the beauty counters at Nordstrom and find perfect foundation shades for you according to your skin type. In addition to these tips to find your perfect foundation, I also have a way for you to get great deals, check out  for discounts on beauty products. 1.  Discover your skin type: While picking a foundation it's best to know your type of skin. Foundations today come in such a large number of various types– cream, powder, fluid, mousse–that it's staggering to attempt and make sense of which is best for you. Foundations are planned for slick, dry, full grown, typical, delicate skin. Remember that most ladies' skin sort changes with the climate. In winter, you m

Miss Poodle Perm, That's Me!

Jill of Scary Mommy is doing a linky post about school pictures. You know the ones, possibly you didn't smile a sweet smile, just the smirk of panic. Or you didn't know it was picture day because you had been out sick for a week and you show up in your most comfortable shirt and bed-head. (Yep. That happened to me. The smile was good though!) Well, my scanner isn't working or else I would post a particular picture from Freshman year. Since I don't have a visual, here's the story: I remember my first day of High School. Actually what I remember is the picture taken of me leaving for my first day of High School. I'm wearing a brave smile, but the hair, the hair , my hair style was a nightmare. My two best friends and I were going to be attending a High School out of our district. That was stressful enough. To add to this new-ness we wanted new looks as well. K. was going to sport the Argyle and Alligator shirt look. W. was going for 'All Monogram

How to Help Your Loved One to Recover

It can be very difficult to have a loved one who is battling an addiction. It can be hard to know what to do or how to help. Luckily there are many resources, programs and even rehabilitation centers that are specifically designed to not only help you to know what to do but also to help your loved one to recover. Addiction is a very real problem all over the world, and in the United States alone there are ever 23 million Americans who are struggling with some sort of addiction. Over 64 percent have had to deal with the emotional aspect of having someone close to them who was battling an addiction. You can feel very helpless when you are close to someone who is battling an addiction, and it can be hard to know what to do. You don't want to make your loved one resent you or to be angry with you because you are trying to get them to stop, but you also can't just stand by and watch. An addiction, no matter what it is to, can consume the person who is addicted and it can also