Trying to put into words my feelings on losing a pet is difficult. I keep editing myself.
I sound stupid.
I sound heartless.
I sound ridiculous.
Being outside is better. Being away from the house it's much easier to mentally deal with the loss of our sweet Maddy because that's not where my memories of her are held. However, I work from my home, the home that has tumbleweeds of cat hair and... it... feels... empty. The house is quiet.
I shake my brain out of sadness by saying 'It was a cat. It was a cat for crying out loud! What's the matter with you?!' But this cat was a part of my life every-single-day for the past (almost) eighteen years. This little furry being was part of my every day - and night (that darn night singing! ;-> ).
It's worse for me today because Rob's at the office and the girls are at school. Benny is sniffing for his furry cat sister and I... I... all I can do is pet him and love him and say 'Things have changed'.
Phoebe, we lost a year ago. Maddy we lost Saturday night.
Things have changed.