Skip to main content

Church Is Not The Place To Have A Wardrobe Malfunction

 photo 57cf8f64-42b1-45a1-9069-6c03dfbc5cd0_zpsa037d08f.jpg

Starting The Week Off... with a laugh

I finally lost the weight and was able to fit into a gorgeous pair of slate grey pants that I'd found at Ann Taylor. In my earlier attempts to wear these pants I found the back pocket outline to show way too much. It drew attention where I did NOT want any attention at all, so I cut the pocket out. (I think I saw Stacy London from TLC's "What Not To Wear" do it once.)

That was a while ago, so when I put the pants on yesterday to accompany my mom to her church service, all I was focusing on was the fact that I could actually fit into them. Finally! (The exercise is finally workin' for me!)

The time came for us to walk to the alter for Communion. I was in front of my mother. Imagine her surprise when she see's her daughter kneel down at the alter only to have a bit of butt cheek show where once there was a silk lined back pocket.

"Ann!" She loudly whispered "Pull down your top! I can see your bottom!" I looked over my shoulder at her 'What?!?' It appears the pocket that I so recklessly cut out months ago separates when I kneel or sit. Oh-my-God. I've flashed the congregation!

The Father comes to me and places a wafer in my out-stretched hands "In name of the Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost". I popped that wafer in my mouth so fast and grabbed the bottom of my sweater to pull it down to my knees.

The acolyte was next with the chalice of wine. What you are supposed to do is help them gently guide the chalice to your mouth with your hands. What I did was more of a nudge-with-the-chin-and-make-fish-lips to get the drink to my mouth. I was NOT letting go of my sweater!

As I walked away from the alter I apologized to my mom and silently prayed that no one else saw. Or, if they did see, maybe they would say "Hey, those exercises are really working!"

Have you ever had an unfortunate clothing experience in a most improper place?

Popular posts from this blog

Miss Poodle Perm, That's Me!

Jill of Scary Mommy is doing a linky post about school pictures. You know the ones, possibly you didn't smile a sweet smile, just the smirk of panic. Or you didn't know it was picture day because you had been out sick for a week and you show up in your most comfortable shirt and bed-head. (Yep. That happened to me. The smile was good though!)

Well, my scanner isn't working or else I would post a particular picture from Freshman year. Since I don't have a visual, here's the story:

I remember my first day of High School. Actually what I remember is the picture taken of me leaving for my first day of High School. I'm wearing a brave smile, but the hair, the hair, my hair style was a nightmare.
My two best friends and I were going to be attending a High School out of our district. That was stressful enough. To add to this new-ness we wanted new looks as well. K. was going to sport the Argyle and Alligator shirt look. W. was going for 'All Monogrammed, Al…

How to Find the Safest Gear for your Baby

Nothing compares to the joys of being a parent. Having a newborn in the family brings couples closer and makes the entire household more cheerful and interesting. But as we all know, being a parent is not just about spending time with your baby. More than anything else, it also requires exerting a lot of effort to make sure that your baby is always safe and free from potential hazards. To further help you in this endeavor, here are some useful tips for finding the safest gear for your baby as you go through various baby product guides:

Opt for a non-toxic gear. The first thing you need to check is the composition of the safety gear. What is the material made from? Is it non-toxic? Be sure that it is because babies have a strong tendency to put everything they see or touch in their mouths. It goes without saying that a safety gear that is made from toxic materials could poison your baby, in the long run, so be very careful about the safety gears you purchase.
Make sure it is sturdy. The …

5 Tips To Find Your Perfect Foundation & Discount Codes!

Picking a foundation at the drugstore can be frustrating since you don't have the advantage of trying it on as you do in retail stores. In light of that, here are some tips on the most proficient method to find your ideal match. Finding foundation at Nordstrom is easy and simple. Visit the beauty counters at Nordstrom and find perfect foundation shades for you according to your skin type. In addition to these tips to find your perfect foundation, I also have a way for you to get great deals, check out matchzup.com for discounts on beauty products.
1. Discover your skin type: While picking a foundation it's best to know your type of skin. Foundations today come in such a large number of various types– cream, powder, fluid, mousse–that it's staggering to attempt and make sense of which is best for you. Foundations are planned for slick, dry, full grown, typical, delicate skin. Remember that most ladies' skin sort changes with the climate. In winter, you may be dry, while…