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Why Is My Mind Going There?

While washing dishes this morning I had a flash back to an argument I had with a friend over 20 years ago... and got mad all over again!  Isn't that ridiculous?

I don't know where it came from, or why my mind would want to put me through those feelings once more, but it was enough to make me actually grip the edge of the sink and take a moment to pause.  20 years ago it was an overwhelming discovery of a friendship that wasn't as "friendly" as I thought.  And even though the situation was talked about and lots of emotions and personal truths were told, I guess I haven't completely forgiven and it's obvious I haven't forgotten.  (That's a problem of mine, I never forget who's hurt me.)

When I see this friend of mine, I'm happy to see them because they were such a huge part of my life growing up.  We have years and years of shared experiences that I wouldn't trade.  But then I remember that, while we were sharing these times together, they weren't always thinking the nicest things about me.  And their true feelings came out those 20-some years ago, and our relationship was never the same.

Why would my mind go to that place today?  Why am I choosing to feel that hurt... again?  The mind's a funny thing.  Do you have memories that overwhelm you that you wish were long gone?

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