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Not Cool!

You know what's not cool? Going into your daughter's bedroom to wake her up for school and seeing a LARGE spider on the wall next to her bed.

Another part of this "not cool" scenario is subtlety grabbing a tissue and, with teeth clenched, smooshing the large thing against the wall.

Part three of "not cool" is saying, 'I'll be right back' and heading into a room with better light to show your husband and...

there's nothing in the tissue.

Next phase of "not cool" is returning to the bedroom to look on the body pillow next to your daughter, who by now is saying, "What's going on?  Is there a spider?" and finding the large black lump on the pillow, so you grab it with the tissue again and you feel it move (you think).  So, with all the clear-headed thinking you have after being awake for 5 minutes, you pick-up the large pillow and throw it across the room. 

The finale of "not cool" is going to look at the pillow and not finding the enormous black spider.  You pick-up the pillow and don't see it.  You look on the ground around it and don't see it.  You pull the bed away from the wall to see if the gigantic, leggy thing is cowering under misplaced socks and you don't see it. 

*poof*  It's gone.  

I didn't make up this spider that was hanging out on the wall next to my girl.  I know I saw it.  I know it.  Now where the hell is it?!?


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