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Just Another Day Of Me Looking Like A Fool

So I found these shoes at a fun, little "vintage-y" store in my neighborhood.  I'm a sucker for red shoes.  It's odd really, because the rest of my clothing is pretty bland - your basic white, black, grey, beige.  But red shoes?  You bet 'cha!

So, I had only tried these shoes on at the store and hadn't really worn them, I just kept looking at them on my shoe shelf, admiring their cuteness waiting for the "right day" to wear them.  Well yesterday was that day.  I have been running around getting paper work in order for my daughter's (please-oh-please) admission to a good high school next year and I needed to get info. from her teacher's, so on went the red shoes and out  the door I went. Within my few steps to the car I noticed that my right heel slipped out a little, but no biggie. 

I arrived at the school, gathered my paper work, and started to cross the street when my right heel slipped out again.  Geez.  So I stop, wiggle my foot back into my shoe and head down the sidewalk.  *Slip* Now it's my left heel.  GEEZ.  Stop, wiggle the foot back in, and walk.  *Slip* There goes the right again.  Stop.  Wiggle.  Walk.  *Slip*  Within a matter of 10 seconds I have stopped 4 times to put on my shoes.  I look like I'm having convulsions.

I begin to panic.  I can't keep doing this?  I'll crawl back to the car, drive home and get another pair of shoes.  I can't!  I don't have time and these papers have to be turned in, like, yesterday.  Crap.  (This inner dialogue is happening while I'm shuffling down the sidewalk.)  I try to curl my toes.  Nope.  *Slip*.  Crap.  I grab my cell. phone and shuffle down the sidewalk, pretending that I'm reading a very important text message that takes all of my concentration, so I better walk re-e-e-e-ally slowly.  (And yes, when I read and walk I turn my legs in different directions, toes pointing in and out.  Doesn't everyone?)

A walk that usually takes me 1 minute took about 5 when I finally made it to the door.  My stride is pretty brisk so my slow gait was noticeable to my friends that were inside the office.  "Is everything OK?  You're walking funny."  I'm such a dork I don't even tell them the truth.  Instead of being honest and saying, 'My shoes are too big and I'm trying not to tip over' I say, 'My hip is really out of whack. Must be the new exercises.'  Which was true.  My back was hurting but that wasn't the issue.

Then it dawned on me...  I have to walk back to the car.  Never again will I buy shoes with out walking in them first.


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