Skip to main content

Mellow Out, Would Ya'?



I didn't mean to sound like that.

Really.

Even though I heard that snarky, rude tone in my head I didn't mean to actually let anyone else hear it.

While I was standing in a long check-out line with my 9 yr. old I was getting irritated with the group of guys standing before me.  Assuming, from their cart full of ice and Pabst Blue Ribbon, they were on their way to a party and you would think they would want to purchase and get going.  'Move along little Buckaroos' I said to myself  'my blood sugar level is dropping and I need to get home and make some lunch!'  But they were in no hurry.

The person in front of them put their items on the belt and stepped forward, but did they?  Nope.  They seemed to be entranced with their conversation about music, or art, or something that had nothing to do with the fact that I was starving.  I tried to calm myself down by taking deep breaths.  It's no big deal - right?  It's gonna happen, I mean, I'm going to get my items and be on my way, but at this rate I may faint first.

As the empty gap between the Dudes and the conveyor belt became wider I started to question if they were even in line at all.  Maybe I misunderstood their symbol of items in a cart and what they were really doing was a performance art piece titled "Assuming; You Know What That Makes"  (If you don't, I'll tell ya').

My nastiness came out when someone else came upon us and started to fill the empty space with their cart.  I verbally slapped the dudes with, 'Are you in line?!  I mean... you're not moving.'  Oh my gosh.  My tone.  It didn't even sound like me.  The growl that came out of my voice was so bitchy I couldn't believe it.  My 9 yr. old couldn't believe it!  She looked at me with her own little "What the hell Mom?" expression.  I thought I was going to laugh hysterically from sheer shock.

Of course the delightful gentlemen responded in a mellow dude-like way, gave me a "whatever man" glance, updated their Facebook status to "Pissed" and moved their ice and PBR onto the belt.  I was so embarrassed.  When did I become the angry old lady?

Even while purchasing my food I kept thinking that I should apologize, tell them it was my low blood sugar talking, but I was stunned and said nothing.

I did apologize to my daughter though.  I had to let her know that what I did wasn't the best way to handle the situation.  A swift kick would have been more to the point.

Kidding.  I kid.