Trying To Find Strength

I'm pretty much a 'go-with-the-flow' person. If something feels right, than that's what I'll do. If that queasy feeling comes upon me, then I avoid that situation. But now I realize at this stage of my life, I need to take some action, queasy feeling or not.

Now, I have given myself challenges; speaking in front of crowds for instance. I was the President of a cooperative preschool for years and that position helped me realize that I can speak to large groups of people. Also I learned I can deal with intense, personal emotions and situations while staying calm and focused on a positive outcome. (Is that when my wine consumption increased? ;-> ). Oh, the stories I could share from those years. Good Lord. Why are some people so determined to be a pain in the ass? Yep, I said it. The new me!

Back to my thought...

I know that I've been afraid of taking a role in my life. In participating in ways to make things... better. One example, I've been afraid to take classes for fear that my brain just won't work. The panic of high school memories comes rushing back and my heart pounds at the thought of being asked to conjugate a verb in Russian. (My heart is pounding right now!)

I really need to push through, make a positive change, figure out what kind of person I am.

What do I want to do when I grow up?

Miss Poodle Perm, That's Me!

Jill of Scary Mommy is doing a linky post about school pictures. You know the ones, possibly you didn't smile a sweet smile, just the smirk of panic. Or you didn't know it was picture day because you had been out sick for a week and you show up in your most comfortable shirt and bed-head. (Yep. That happened to me. The smile was good though!) Well, my scanner isn't working or else I would post a particular picture from Freshman year. Since I don't have a visual, here's the story: I remember my first day of High School. Actually what I remember is the picture taken of me leaving for my first day of High School. I'm wearing a brave smile, but the hair, the hair , my hair style was a nightmare. My two best friends and I were going to be attending a High School out of our district. That was stressful enough. To add to this new-ness we wanted new looks as well. K. was going to sport the Argyle and Alligator shirt look. W. was going for 'All Monogram

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Ann Again...and again

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