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Some Days

Some days are just hard.

My oldest was diagnosed in the Asperger's spectrum when she was 5 years old. I wasn't surprised. I knew that there was a disconnect somewhere but what ever I read about Autism was a step too far from what I was experiencing with her.

Everyday is a lesson. Everyday we try to remember the tools that we've been given to guide her toward good choices. Her first reaction to things always seems to be 'anger'. That emotion is so far removed from the rest of us in this house that it can make some days incredibly, incredibly hard.

It's a roller-coaster.

Thank goodness my youngest was born with an easy going disposition. (I think this angers her big sister even more!)

There are some great days. Some really great days. Those days give me hope because then I know I'm seeing the real Katie. And she feels it too. And she wants to feel good. Our job is to remember how we got to this "feel good" place and do these things over and over again. Did we feed her something different? Did she get more sleep than usual? Less sleep? Did we cut back on video games? Did we give more one-on-one time?

There was a time when we had a chart for all these things, and more. But, trying to live your life by a check-off chart isn't easy. And daily living just gets in the way. "We didn't check off yesterday. What did you eat yesterday morning?".

School will be out for summer very soon. Transitions aren't easy. I'm planning activities and hope that this summer is the summer that we finally get her on a positive path. For her sake, and ours.

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