Me: 'OK, lights out, school in the morning.'
Her: "You're lucky. You don't have to get up early in the morning. You don't have a job."
Now, upon hearing this from my 12 year old daughter many, many feelings came over me.
I feel great pride in not lashing out with a booming scream 'Oh Yeah?!? Oh REALLY?!?!? Well shall I list all of the "jobs" I supposedly DON'T do??? Shall I????????'
Ah... such composure, such grace. I was stunned to be honest. We had just had a great night so there was no reason for her to try to hurt my feelings. To me, this comment came out of nowhere.
I was raised by a fantastically supportive, loving, hard working outside-the-home mom. I feel so very lucky that financially I have been able to stay home with my children. I was incredibly lucky to have this choice, this option.
I've made it a goal of mine to have my daughters understand that working outside/inside/upside-down the home means you are always a "working mom". I can’t believe that, with our years of discussion and experience that I am being told by my daughter that she still doesn’t get it. She only understands if there’s no paycheck, there’s no job, you don’t “really” work.
I need to re-think the words I say when I think I’m alone, or when I think that no one is listening. (I see their eyes open! I see them! I ask for help and I get nothin’. However, I could whisper the word “chocolate” and it’s “Wha’? Did you say something mom?”)
Perhaps I do feed into my insecurities and make comments about not really generating income for the family. I probably do. I need to stop that because it’s coming back to bite me – and I don’t like it.