Monday, July 21, 2014

Did I Catch Him At A Bad Time? Or Is This His Normal?

Did I Catch Him At A Bad Time? Or Is This His Normal?  Ann Again and again

"Get back here!!  What do you think you're doing?!  Go wash your hands RIGHT. NOW!"

This was being shouted by a grown man to a young boy as my husband, my 13 year old daughter and I were walking into, what is normally, a mellow neighborhood pizza place.  Apparently this man didn't like the fact that this boy had pizza grease on his hands. He didn't like a young child taking his time eating. He didn't like a young child riding their bike in circles. And I definitely didn't take kindly to his constant verbal assault which, whether this man realized it or even cared, was really pissing me off. 

A quick scan of the outdoor seating space showed a father, sitting on top of a picnic table, holding court over 4 young children.  Every move they made he yelled at them.  "Pick up that napkin!"  "Why'd you pour that water on the ground?!  It will pool and bugs will come around where people eat!  What were you thinkin'?!!"  A weak "Sorry dad" was the response. The more I heard the more agitated I became. I made a move, not really sure what would come of it, but I had to do... something.

I picked up my drink and went over to the area where this man was bellowing.  I sat at a table near by.  I wanted to see if he would continue at the volume, and intensity, if an adult was close. I looked at the children, they looked at me. I watched their faces as they heard his voice. More words of "What's the matter with you?!" and "Use your brain!!" This time not as loud, but still, the anger is there.  

Here's the thing, I interpret this father's behavior as anger. Does he see it as good parenting?  If someone's yelling at you are you truly listening to what they're saying? Or are you scrambling in your brain, and body, trying to think of ways to make the yelling stop? Of course this isn't the first time I've heard a parent yell. I'm guilty of losing it too. It's just that we were at a sweet, laid-back neighborhood pizza place and his intensity took over the whole space.  It's like he wanted an audience.  As if to say, "Look at what I can do!"  Well &%$! that - is what I hope I conveyed.

Should I say something?  What would I say?  The man knew I was there and started talking lower and lower.  The daughter tried to bring her dad's attention to her broken kickstand but he kept mumbling "Why don't you think?!"  I was hoping he was talking to himself.

As the last pizza crust was consumed, I went back to my table with Rob and Lily. Just then a man and a woman sat beside us and turned to see this father get on a bike and rally his kids behind him on their bikes.  As the 5 of them rode down the sidewalk this woman applauded him and said "He's so brave.  4 kids on bikes?  I'd be a nervous wreck."  Sometimes, to be perceived as a good parent, it's all in the editing.  

Should I have said something?

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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

What's Blossoming Now - Wordless Wednesday

 A stroll around the garden and I find all kinds of color -

"Orange Pyramid" Lily

Johnny Jump-Up

Annual Sunflower

What colors are happening in your yard now?

Being much better this week at keeping Wordless Wednesday actually "wordless" ;->  How would you like to link up with us over at Tales Of A Pee Dee Mama?  Let me know if you do.

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Saturday, July 12, 2014

I Want To Get Out Of The Car! He Wouldn't Let Her - What Would You Do?

The first thing that caught my attention was the windshield.  As Rob and I were sitting at a red light I look over and see a car, with a badly smashed windshield, making a right turn.  The windshield looked like a baseball bat went at it a couple of times and I was surprised that the driver could see well enough to maneuver the car.  As the car drove down the road going further behind us my attention went back to my anticipation of what I was going to order for my birthday dinner tonight at our favorite restaurant, Jake's. Probably Salmon stuffed with a blend of cream cheese, crab and shrimp.  Absolutely decadent and delicious!

As we approached a red light that same car with the bashed in windshield pulls into our lane of traffic, directly in front of us.  Curious.  I'm looking at this car, backseat piled with clothing, and told Rob I had noticed this car and was impressed with it's way of getting around a red light.  As I was saying this we could hear yelling.  I rolled my window down a bit and the passenger in the car ahead of us, a woman, tried to get out of the car but the driver, a man, pulled her back in.  We heard her yell "I want to get out of the car!".  The car turned a corner, and we followed it.

Rob stayed a safe distance behind and I pulled out my phone.  It's in these moments you wonder 'Should I call 911?'  'Am I over reacting?  Is this not as bad as I think?'  'Should we get involved in their "lover's quarrel?'  We saw the car park and the woman got out and the man followed close behind.  We are now in a nice, quiet neighborhood and this couple, screaming at each other, swearing at each other, was causing quite a scene with the neighbors doing their gardening.  When the man would not leave the woman alone I decided to make the call.

After giving all the information and being told that an officer would be there soon Rob and I kept following the woman because we wanted to help, if she needed it.  It looked like the man was going to hit her and Rob took off his seat belt preparing to get out if need be.  (I was quietly praying that he wouldn't have to get out!)  I choose to let the woman know that we've called the Police.  She looks at me exasperated, almost pissed.  I say, 'I just don't want you to get hurt.'  She turns to the man and says "You happy now?  They've called the cops!"  Oh shit.

I hadn't thought that she would be upset.  And I really didn't think she'd tell the dude who's been screaming at her!  She walked a bit and then actually said 'Thank you'.

Here's the thing.  Rob and I were in that moment of - What would you do?  We're happily driving to a lovely evening out and we see behavior that catches both of our attention.  As the car turned the corner in front of us we could have let them go, but it would have bothered me all night, and for days to come.  I felt a woman was in trouble and I am so happy that Rob was right there with me and together we made the decision to get involved.

The woman said to us, 'When the cops get here they're going to arrest him again and then he'll go to jail and then where will I be?!"  Sad.  So, so sad.  As she walked away I noticed bruises on her arm.  Hopefully the person that put them there will be locked up and the police will guide her to a woman's recovery center.

My birthday dinner was filled with prayers and appreciation for the people I have in my life.

If you saw what we saw, what would you have done?

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Thursday, July 10, 2014

Captured In Flight - Wordless Wednesday

One of my favorite places to be is in my own backyard.  Some days I find the veggies are sprouting, the buds have blossomed or a cat that wants to call us his new family.  (And yes, he's visited us everyday for the past week :-> )  The other day I was working outside and found a hummingbird that wanted to use our fountain as his bath.  That's fine with me!

(I was a bit far - these were taken with my iPhone)

Captured In Flight - Hummingbird - Wordless Wednesday - Ann Again and again

Captured In Flight - Hummingbird - Wordless Wednesday - Ann Again and again

Captured In Flight - Hummingbird - Wordless Wednesday - Ann Again and again
Perfect landing.  Destination: Fountain

I'm taking part in Wordless Wednesday at Tales of a Pee Dee Mama.  Why don't you join us? :->

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