"Mom, you're weird."
When I heard those words I felt so many emotions. First, I laughed. This is a typical thing for a teenager to say to their parent, right? Then I agreed. I do have my own way of looking at things. Then I was self-conscious. Am I so "weird" that I'm still embarrassing myself in my middle age?
Do you remember having someone make you feel dumb in grade school? Or, middle school? High School? You raise your hand to give an answer only to have the class laugh because the answer is completely wrong. But, in your mind, you see how your answer could work? I mean, I get it. Why don't they? That's pretty much me and my brain, my spirit.
Having a brain that works this way requires knowing when to keep quiet and/or having a thick skin, of which I have neither. I am super sensitive to feelings and vibes and even when I hear the words 'Don't say it. Don't say it.' swirling in my brain my mouth forms these words and out comes my "weird" thought.
If people had warning labels mine would read: 'I make no sense'. But I do make sense - to myself.
I'm not weird, or dumb. I just see things differently sometimes. Hopefully some day I'll feel more comfortable about it.