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I Thought I Saw... Me

I thought I saw myself this morning.  I had a vision.  It's was like seeing a glimpse of my life 5 years ago.

Now that my oldest Katie is 15, and a Freshman in high school, it hits my heart like a bolt everyday how quickly this time is going by.  My youngest is 12, in sixth grade, and even though I've been through the body changes, the questions that become more mature, the behavior that they think is more mature but isn't, I still catch my breath when I hear from Lily, "Mom, can I ask you a question?"  The answer is always 'Of course' but my mind is going 'Please let her ask me for some ice cream!'  (And most of the time it is.  She's in no hurry to grow up and for that I am incredibly grateful.)  I don't want them to be little ones again, it's just that I  can't believe where we are now.

So this morning, during our normal routine of me taking Katie to school, then looping back around to drop off Lily, I caught sight of a very familiar image, it was me only 5 years ago.

There's a mother who wears her hair in the same ponytail as I did (before I cut it short - bad idea!  I'm growing it out), she wears the same style of clothes, and her children were both girls who seemed to be the age difference of my girls.  She walked them to the door of the school, gave them hugs and kisses, then met with friends to chat with on the sidewalk.  The last bell rang, they hung around for a while then walked to their cars.

What's happened to me?  I used to walk my girls to the doors of the school.  Now we get to the curb and out the car door they go.  I used to have my group of friends that I would chat with, talk about issues at school or behaviors of our growing kids, now most of us have other jobs that require us at certain times, no "catch-up" time available on the sidewalk any more.

Lily doesn't even want me to meet her on the sidewalk after school.  Being in the car at the curb, that's my place now.  Maybe if I met her with an ice cream cone she'd change her mind. ;->

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