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Am I Making A Mistake?

I have so many emotions going on I'm just trying to figure out how to cope.  My husband's stress level with his work is high.  Financial situations aren't in a comfortable place and... my oldest daughter is graduating from 8th grade this Wednesday evening.

With regard to my husband, I am doing what I can to be supportive, but I never know if I'm doing enough.  Guilt over not contributing more with my income weighs on me.  And this whole trying-to-get-my-daughter-into-our-preferred-high school situation has its own levels of stress that I don't know which direction is right!

Bottom line:  this school will provide a better education.  However, it requires a lot of responsibility and I don't know if she's capable of that now.  She's struggled with certain tasks for years but seemed to head in a positive direction around 6th grade.  (She was diagnosed with high functioning Aspergers Syndrome in 1st grade.  I hesitate to bring this up because, after years of hearing 'labels' with regard to peoples behavior, I think we ALL have something that could go down in OUR charts.  You know what I mean? But I do bring this up because it's another piece of her puzzle.)

The coping tools she has been taught have helped her tremendously but these last 6 months things seem to have fallen apart.  Her grades need to be good in order to get into this school.  She is hesitant to go to this school because - A) Her closest friends are going to the neighborhood high school.  And B)  Uniforms.  Oh my God you would think this was the meanest thing we could have done to her!  She saw in the dress code book yesterday that you can't wear tennis shoes. Oh the horror!  Maybe if I have her watch Harry Potter movies a few more times the "uniform" idea won't be so bad.

Anyway.  

I'm stressed over the thought that maybe I'm asking too much from her with this school.  Will this place hurt more than help?  She gets severe anxiety over placing an order with a waitress, will she have a complete attack when she tries to walk in the schools door?

If something is such a struggle I've always felt it wasn't the right way to go.  Her grades have fallen toward the end of the school year and I can't figure out if she's messing up on purpose, so this "school thing" won't be an option?  Or, if the task of completing work and turning it in, just doesn't connect for her.  Is doing this work truly that hard?  Growing up.  Change.  Two things that are pretty darn stressful.  We're surrounded by it.

I need to remember to breathe.


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2 comments:

  1. I am so sorry you are struggling right now. I understand what you mean about not contributing to the income. I struggle with that one all the time and when my husband tells me not to worry about it, I try so hard to follow his advice but it is still tough!

    I think you will get a gut feeling one way or the other about this school. Go with your gut. If you feel this school is best for her (not you or anyone else), then go for it. If not, then don't. I am sure you will find the answers when it is time.

    To add more stress to your life....don't hate me...I nominated you for "The Lovely Blog Award." Go to http://thenlistblog.com/2012/06/11/and-id-like-to-thank/ to find out what to do next (if you are in to this sort of thing). I completely understand if you check this off of your "to-do" list without even doing it!

    Take care of you!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Nicki! How cool! Thank you so much for always being so sweet and so supportive.

      Delete

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