Just Failing At Parenting, That's All

I am not driving my kids from camp to camp.  I am not filling their summer days with structured Science or Literature classes.  I am not spending a lot of time in the kitchen helping them to create foods with funny faces or organic offerings. 

I'm lazy-ass mom.  Or, so a lovely commenter said.  (Delete! Delete!)

I do feel guilty though.  I feel the days of doing nothing are opportunities wasted.  They could have learned something really important today!  But I didn't push them. 

My kids just aren't self-motivated.  When we have a summer day where there isn't something scheduled, which is often, I spend most of my time suggesting things for them to do. Rather than them asking me "Can we?  Can we?" I hear, "Do we have to?"

I feel like I'm failing.  Or, to turn it around, I'm winning in the "Unmotivated Kids" catagory.

*heavy sigh*

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  1. Somebody really called you a lazy-ass mom? sheesh.

    I keep thinking back to when we were kids. Our mothers were not the entertainment committee everyone thinks they should be now. We amused ourselves with our friends. My mom didn't drive us everywhere and they didn't feel like they had to fill up our days with programs and play dates and camp this and camp that.

    When my kids were small, we belonged to the local pool and we went nearly every day in the summer for a few hours, but that was basically it. They were on their own for entertainment.

    Kids today are way over-scheduled. They race from camp to practice to lessons to play dates. Moms and dads are so busy driving everyone to all these things, no one has home-cooked meals because here's no time to prepare them or to sit down at the table to eat them.

    I wasn't driving my kids all over town to a bunch of functions, but we all sat down together and had a home-cooked dinner nearly every night.

    My girls were on the cheerleading squad in grade school (and first year of high school) because THEY wanted to do that. They did girl scouts in grade school. My son was a cub and boy scout for a few years. But that was the only activity they did all year.

    When the girls got to high school, they joined the drama club, because THEY wanted to! They took voice and dance lessons because they needed that to get into the college program (theatre majors). and it was their choice, not mine.

    Um, sorry for the rant, but I think that person hit a nerve when the or she (I'm betting she) said you were a lazy-ass mom.

  2. My parents worked full time when I grew up and my sitter was my grandmother who was well into her 80's, didn't have a car, and well I survived. My kids need to respect that just because they have all summer off, mom still has housework, and blogwork, and chillin' is underrated! You are awesome, anyone who feels otherwise should start worrying about themselves and not be so critical of others, wow. ((hug))

  3. I want the name of the person who called you a lazy ass mom! I am so sick of people judging others!!!! I have not read the other comments so forgive me if I am repeating what someone else has already said but here goes...


    When I had my daughter (now 17) was born, I had my CDA (Child Development Associate) and I was a program coordinator and lead teacher for an nationally accredited childcare center. I was THE SHIT when it came to parenting...or so I thought. I did everything with my daughter. Her mind was always stimulated. She was never truly bored. She never learned what bored was! Then I had my son. He is 13 now. I was anemic and always tired with him. He was a handful. I tried to do things with him and keep his mind busy but he didn't enjoy it the way she did. I got "lazy" and let him do his own thing. Now...my daughter is an A student and very active WHO STILL ALWAYS NEEDS SOMEONE TO ENTERTAIN HER AND STILL HAS DIFFICULTY MAKING UP HER OWN MIND AND HAS ANXIETY ISSUES ABOUT DOING EVERYTHING PERFECTLY. My son..he is laid back, gets A's and B's in school, is very street smart, is spontaneous, doesn't suffer from anxiety (yet) and makes his mind up all on his own. They are both wonderful kids and I am sure yours are as well. I just learned that by making sure that my daughter was never bored, I did her a disservice. She now complains of boredom at amusement parks, I kid you not! You may feel like you are being lazy; I did. But you are helping them think for themselves and become independent adults! Good for you!!


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