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Always Thinking of Dad

It's amazing how often I think of this new dad situation.  (Catch-up here).

Despite his sorrow at losing his wife, and dealing with the weakening of his heart, he has a lot of power.   His current situation has brought out in him so much anger.  I get it.  It's just, I don't respond well to someone who is so angry.  I try not to take it personally.  I know when he yells he isn't yelling at me, but I happen to be in the room, and he happens to look at me occasionally, so how ever much I don't want to feel his power, I do. 

So, I just take it all in, reassuring myself that it isn't me he's mad at, it's Life.  But the thing is I would like to yell too, and not at Life, but at him!  But I won't.  I'll just sit on the couch, and revert back to being 9 yrs. old.  Confused.  Looking to my sister to try and understand what's going on, and wanting to run to my bedroom and play Barbies. 

He is feeling better, that's a blessing. 

Here's something that should be really interesting... my sister and I are going up to be with him again in 2 weeks... and our mom is coming with us.  He wants her there.  (Although he left, he's loves her, always will.)  Should be very interesting indeed.

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6 comments:

  1. Wow. Big stuff. Sending you good thoughts, hugs and virtual Barbies to help take your mind off stuff!
    xoxo

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  2. So sorry you're dealing with this. It's crazy how our inner child surfaces when facing our parents.

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  3. Strength and prayers...maybe he's going to apologize for leaving? Closure on his part?

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  4. Oh Ann, that sounds like a lot to deal with. I'm thinking of you and I hope it goes well!

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  5. It's hard to honor a parent who is angry. My dad was a very angry man and I never got the satisfaction of talking to him about it or out of it. I think you're making a good choice to not yell back-your kids don't need to see that. Stopping by from La Dulce Vita's blog hop. blessings on your day!

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  6. Heart conditions can have this affect on people. I'm not so sure if this was his personality in his early life or if this is really "new" due to his heart, but a friend of mine had a similar problem. His Dad had 4 heart attacks and after all the meds and procedures? the man is not very friendly to anyone. hugs!

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