Time To Vent!

And a "What Would You Do?"

Preparations were underway for my daughter's 13th birthday party;  I booked the place, ordered the cake and made invitations.  Things are scaled back this year in that she could invite 5 friends instead of the normal pack of 10.  I understand that made it tough for her but that's just the way things are.  So on each invitation I put the name of the invited guest.  I felt labeling them would help her when handing them out so if a friend did a little "Hey, what about me?" Katie could blame her "Mean Mom" by saying, "Mom will only let me invite so many" blah, blah, blah.

I did receive a phone call from one parent whose child had told her about the party and the parent wanted to confirm since she didn't see an invitation.  I felt badly explaining that things needed to be scaled back this year, but the parent sounded like they understood and the conversation went well.

One of the invited guests is a quiet girl and classmate of Katie's.  This quiet girl has a brother one year older.  I knew this invite was going to be a problem because Katie does play with him rarely but he's not my favorite and Katie didn't want to invite him.  I made sure to put one name on that invite so there would be no confusion. 

So here we are, the day before the party and I hadn't heard from the quiet girls parents, so I called to confirm that their daughter would be attending.  The father sounded odd and said "Uh, yeah, she'll be there."  Lovely.  Another enthusiastic participant.  Later that night, around 9:00 pm, I get a call from the mom that doesn't start with a "Hi.  How are you?" or a little "Do you have time to talk?".  Nope.  I am addressed with "My husband was confused earlier because our son told us that Katie invited him to the party too." 


I told her I didn't know anything about that and that we were doing the best we could however the party is very limited this year.  She replied "So you want me to tell him he can't go?"  I apologized again (like an idiot, I was so flustered) and then said, 'If it's easier for your daughter not to attend that's fine.'  I was so-o-o-o done.  She laughed and said that that wouldn't make things easier.  Gee, really?  It would for me!

Again she said "Our son was really looking forward to going."  I told her "Look.  What I know is that we have room for 5 guests.  I made invitations for 5 guests.  I wrote your daughters name on the invite, I saw my daughter put it in your mailbox and I hadn't heard from you until now.  If this party is an inconvenience to you I'm sorry, you can just have your child not attend."   She said, "I'll have her there tomorrow."  I had the highly intelligent come back, 'Whatever' and hung-up.

What I don't get is the fact that they didn't call me to confirm about this supposed verbal invite.  Wouldn't you call the host and say "Hey, just wanted to check..." Doesn't that make sense?  Wouldn't you just get your "parent radar" buzzing, especially since this charming young man of yours has a crazy history of habitually lying and causing physical pain to those around him?  Wouldn't there be any doubt that he was truly invited?  No, no of course not.  It's easier for me to be the one that sucks then for you to step up and call your son out.  I see. 


Have you ever had this situation?

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  1. We have different problems. Our son has a hard time making friends because he doesn't socialize well with others. He doesn't have a "clique" (as his school calls them) that he hangs with. I know it's hard to afford to invite everyone but I'd be happy if the kids we did invite showed up.

  2. I have never understood the concept of inviting every kid or their feelings will be hurt. Our society is truly raising a generation of kids that expect everything to go their way. I would never call another parent to question not being invited to a party. My boys are 19 & 15- I never questioned another parent on something like this. I think parents are rude and disrespectful when they question stuff like this. Just this Moms opinion.

  3. Wait who doesn't call to RSVP? I mean how are you supposed to even remotely plan when they don't call? And yeah I wouldn't assume that my other child gets to go because of my oldest going. I would call and ask, that's just proper.

  4. I am absolutely amazed that people have the nerve to ask why their kid is not invited to a party! It simply blows my mind!! Understandable if the kid was the only one in the class (or neighborhood) not invited. They really need to get over themselves and their little darlings.

  5. The only time I've ever considered calling a parent is when everyone in the class was invited but my son. But then he got one so I didn't need to. However if I had my approach would have been more along the lines of "what is the issue" rather than trying to get an invite. I would be approaching it as if my son had upset someone...along those lines. I've heard horror stories about parents not only bringing siblings but then expecting to leave so the ones throwing the party can babysit, ugh.

  6. Kids parties are so stressful. I always tried to get Tara to pick her best friend and then we would go out on "the town" so to speak at Disney or whatever. I always stressed when people did not RSVP...you were never sure if they were or they weren't. I am not looking forward to this year's birthday... I am sure drama will be involved in some way, she has two very distinct groups of friends with a couple kids who overlap....

  7. parents are such idiots sometimes! Ummm, yes, I do want you to be an adult and tell your son that life works this way...you were not invited and therefore you won't be attending. Plain and simple. What's that? It's not fair? Oh buddy...I have news for you. You have about 70 more years of not fair! Better start learning how to deal with that now! Oh wait, you can't learn how to deal with that now because your own mom hasn't figured that out yet! Sorry bud!

    I hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday! Enjoy it with her and let everyone figure out life on their own! It isn't your job and you shouldn't be put in that position!

  8. What I've learned over the years is that some people just don't make any sense! Common sense is beyond them. Knowing this, it is still oh so frustrating to see it in action.

    I hope the party went well! Happy 13th to Katie!!

  9. I can only speak from past party planning here. The parent most likely didn't RSVP because they were planing on showing up with both kids, creating an even bigger ackward moment in public then proceed to leave the party so you can care for both their children while they hit one of the local bars show up half in the bag late to take their kids home. Yup - believe it.


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