I See, I Don't Have A Job

Me:  'OK, lights out, school in the morning.'

Her:  "You're lucky. You don't have to get up early in the morning. You don't have a job."

Now, upon hearing this from my 12 year old daughter many, many feelings came over me.

I feel great pride in not lashing out with a booming scream 'Oh Yeah?!? Oh REALLY?!?!? Well shall I list all of the "jobs" I supposedly DON'T do??? Shall I????????'

Ah... such composure, such grace. I was stunned to be honest. We had just had a great night so there was no reason for her to try to hurt my feelings. To me, this comment came out of nowhere.

I was raised by a fantastically supportive, loving, hard working outside-the-home mom. I feel so very lucky that financially I have been able to stay home with my children. I was incredibly lucky to have this choice, this option.

I've made it a goal of mine to have my daughters understand that working outside/inside/upside-down the home means you are always a "working mom". I can’t believe that, with our years of discussion and experience that I am being told by my daughter that she still doesn’t get it. She only understands if there’s no paycheck, there’s no job, you don’t “really” work.

I need to re-think the words I say when I think I’m alone, or when I think that no one is listening. (I see their eyes open! I see them! I ask for help and I get nothin’. However, I could whisper the word “chocolate” and it’s “Wha’? Did you say something mom?”) 

Perhaps I do feed into my insecurities and make comments about not really generating income for the family. I probably do. I need to stop that because it’s coming back to bite me – and I don’t like it.

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  1. Oh, I am sooo sorry you had to feel that! My kids throw that in my face all the time. They are 12 and 16 and they can be cruel. Not sure if misery loves company but I am sharing this none-the-less.

    I came home from school at 8:30 tonight as I do Monday - Thursday. I loath school right now. I soooo need to be done! I enter the house and it is a disaster.

    Me: Kids, clean the kitchen please.
    Son: Mom!! Why? (Playing his game and getting in trouble yesterday for his attitude).
    Me: Because I left for school at 10 this morning, I haven't had dinner and I can't come home to a mess everyday."
    Son: I have school too. And football. How do you think I feel?
    Me:Football is your choice and I told you if it became a problem, you would not play. So clean the damn kitchen.
    Son: It is YOUR choice to go to school too!!!

    That is about where I lost it and called my husband to tell him to deal with his son...after I grounded him for a week from the video game.

  2. This reminds me of labor day. Mr made the comment "what a lazy day" to me. Of course this was after I had cleaned the house, sanded the 6 drawer dresser, had moved some plantings outside earlier, was on my 5th load of laundry not to mention cooking everyone's meals. With raised eyebrow I just commented "speak for yourself." Let's just say he was pretty quiet the rest of the evening.

  3. I am a new follower and I would love a follow back!!! http://www.mommykatie.com/

  4. Hi
    i just found your blog today.
    I was a SAH home when my kids were younger, then I went to work. I'm currently unemployed and have been at home now for a month and my husband had the nerve the other day to ask me "what I did all day?" omg...I could not believe it.
    You work your BUTT off when you are at home!!!!!!! the trouble is, no one sees what you do. i think that the kids take for granted the things we do in the house, husbands too.
    Taking care of your family is a full time job, there is ALWAYS something to do.
    And going to school is hard, I know i've done it. and I often felt like I was making everyone suffer for something that I wanted to do. Do something for yourself.
    now following you


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