What Would You Do?

Let's say your child goes to a friends house for a sleep-over. 

And,  returns home with over $200 worth of new clothes purchased by the friends parents.

What would you do?


A young girl is invited for a sleep-over.  The mother drives her daughter to the house, walks her to the door, speaks with the parents hosting the sleep-over, hugs her daughter and then drives away.

The next afternoon the daughter is driven home by the parents who hosted the sleep-over.  The daughter walks into her house, hugs her mom, then shows her a large shopping bag full of new clothes, over $200 worth, that were purchased just for her.

The parents of the children are not friends.  They don't know each other very well.  Their children are friends and this was their first sleep-over together.

If you were the parent of the daughter who brought home the clothes, how would you react?  What would you do?

This parent took the bag of new clothes back to the hosts' home and said "Thanks, but I can't accept."  The hosts/clothes purchasers said, "Why not?  Our daughter told us that things were tight for you so we thought we'd help by buying back-to-school clothes for your daughter."

I ask again, how would you react?  What would you do?

Stumble Upon Toolbar


  1. Wow, that's a great question! It's so hard to determine how you might act/react in any situation. I do know that friends and family have purchased an item or 2 for back-2-school for my kids (they're both grown now), but THAT much? WOW!

    If things really were "tight", maybe look at is as an answered-prayer? That someone you barely knew felt the need/want to help out, I think I would thank them profusely and who knows...maybe have a new friend!

  2. Oh my goodness.
    I am horribly proud, to a fault... so I think this says more about ME than what "should" be done. But I couldn't take the clothes and would insist the mom take them back. And then I'd sit down and talk with the child to make sure she's not feeling deprived in any way.
    Now whether that's the healthy, best thing to do? I doubt it.

  3. Ack that IS super tough. If things were tight and I really did need the help I would ask if I could do something to help the parents in return- I don't think I could handle just taking the clothing for nothing.

  4. I think that I would say that I appreciated the sentiment, but that I just couldn't accept a gift like that.

    I think.

  5. I have to say that the closest I ever came to this was when my daughter (4 at the time) layed it on thick with my sister-in-law. Money was tight and we had to cancel our cable. It was also a time when the zoo used to be free on Mondays so I packed the kids up complete with lunch and drinks so I wouldn't have to buy them only to find out the zoo now charges on Mondays. Having NO money on me, we had to leave. So...my SIL takes my daughter to the zoo and my daughter says, "I came here with my mommy but we had to leave because we didn't have any money." Then they go to SIL's house to watch the cartoon channel. Daughter: "I used to have this channel but we don't now because we don't have enough money." My daughter came home with new clothes and new shoes. Little shit! I accepted them because it was family and not a lot was spent. I think if it was practically a stranger, I would say something like, "I truly appreciate your kindness but this is way too much for me to accept."

  6. I would once again explain that the gesture was wonderful but I felt weird accepting the gifts. If they still insisted, I would probably accept them - especially if I had not been able to buy my child new clothes for school because honestly why should my daughter suffer for my pride? I think I would also take into consideration the finacial status of the family - I mean are they loaded and spending 200 is like us spending 10?

  7. I would return the clothing to the family. "Thank you for your generosity, but we cannot accept the gift." When I was in the middle of my divorce I had a number of friends & family who gave my daughter a little extra around her birthday and holidays - they used the occasion to try to help us out. But just some random occasion and someone you don't know well? It's not appropriate. I'm not sure it sends a good message to your daughter either - what is the obligation now with this girl and her family?

  8. This is really a tough questions, I would probably thank them and give the gift back. I think it would send a wrong message to the daughter who probably can't understand the financial situation in the family yet. All she sees is probably the Mrs. XYZ is buying me new clothes while my mom's not, and I want new clothes.

  9. Man that's a hard one!! I think I would return them. I don't feel it's a matter of pride. Who knows what the true intentions of the other mom? (Sorry, I'm married to a cop - lol.) This could just be the first step in a long process of grooming the child.

    Even if it were completely innocent, the parent should have been asked if they could do that for the family. I would never impose myself like that without asking the parents it were okay.

  10. Anna, that is such a tough one. I will say at one point in my life I was capable of giving such a gift and when I did, I did it with the best of intentions but the kids I helped were very young and not capable of understanding any of it.

    I'm no longer in that position but the people probably mean the best. The downside here is if their daughter starts talking at school. Could be innocent, could be something else...you never know with little girls. They can turn so quickly and be so mean and throw things out that they think is a drive by slap but one that leaves a lasting mark.

    I'd probably take them back probably with a homemade bananna bread or something to take the sting out of it.

    BTW? I think you may be one of the sweetest most wonderful people in the blogosphere. Your heart is always in the right place. xo

  11. It's none of their business! really! It's not their place to do this to your daughter. I would also return them.


Thanks for taking the time to comment! I hope you enjoyed your visit.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin