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Trying To Find Strength

I'm pretty much a 'go-with-the-flow' person.  If something feels right, than that's what I'll do.  If that queasy feeling comes upon me, then I avoid that situation.  But now I realize at this stage of my life, I need to take some action, queasy feeling or not.

Now, I have given myself challenges;  speaking in front of crowds for instance.  I was the President of a cooperative preschool for years and that position helped me realize that I can speak to large groups of people.  Also I learned I can deal with intense, personal emotions and situations while staying calm and focused on a positive outcome.  (Is that when my wine consumption increased?  ;->  ).  Oh, the stories I could share from those years.  Good Lord.  Why are some people so determined to be a pain in the ass?  Yep, I said it.  The new me!

Back to my thought...

I know that I've been afraid of taking a role in my life.  In participating in ways to make things... better.  One example, I've been afraid to take classes for fear that my brain just won't work.  The panic of high school memories comes rushing back and my heart pounds at the thought of being asked to conjugate a verb in Russian.  (My heart is pounding right now!)

I really need to push through, make a positive change, figure out what kind of person I am.

What do I want to do when I grow up?

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6 comments:

  1. Wonderful post. There myself. Well...just passed through. Now to do something about it!! ;-)

    {Hugs}

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  2. It's so true that even as adults, there are still things that terrify us. I have never been great at standing up for myself, espcially with my family. Now that I am am mom with a family of my own, I am learning that I can't be pushed around and must stand up for myslef as well as my family.

    Congratulations on working on facing your fears!

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  3. I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. :) Good luck!!!

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  4. I suck at confrontation...there are always opportunities to grow as individuals. Great post.

    I have a feeling when you find yourself, you are going to see what we see...you are fabulous.

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  5. Just push through! If you go back to school and it ends up being not what you thought it would be,you can always back out, just take the risk so you wont regret it. Goodluck to you!

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  6. Take stock in who you are and celebrate being a wonderful wife, great Mom and all those other hats you wear. From there you might just find what you are looking for. Then when you do let me know ... I'm still working on it.

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