Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

I'm noticing more self-assurance from my 9 year old.

She questioned why, while on a little shopping trip, I asked her permission if we could stop to look at an item. I did? She said "Why are you asking me? I'm just a kid." I really didn't know what she was talking about, then I thought about my words. I have gotten into the habit of saying 'Can we just look in this store? It will just take a minute.'

I realized I had been doing this for years. And it isn't that I'm truly asking for my child's permission, my intention is more of a "gentle guiding toward a change in plans". My 12 yr. old is very intense (on the Asperger's spectrum) and you never know how she is going to react to a change in plans. I know that's why I don't give a direct 'I know I said we were going to the car, but I want to stop here first'. I need to be more direct.

After a long shopping trip last Sunday we were all pretty tired however, my oldest had plotted in her mind where she was going next. My youngest was ready to leave and I said "Katie, we're tired. Can we go home now? I'll bring you back here another day." My little Lily looked me in the face and said "What are you asking her for? YOU'RE the parent. Don't ask her permission!"

Yikes. She was right.

I told Lily she was right. I thanked her. Gave the direction and home we went.

No more watching Super Nanny for her. Jo Frost, look out!

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  1. Hehe. I could see how it would be easy to fall into that habit.

  2. I ask Tara's permission way too often, and there are times right now when it is coming back to BITE me.

    TWEENs (28 days until she's teen) UGH!

  3. haha..dont we all need this lesson?

  4. I avoid those situations by not taking the kids along as frequently as possible. I mean unless we are shoping for toys they groan at everything to do with shopping ~ I'd rather enjoy myself thank you very much. Anyway, right now I am sure my 9 yr old diva wants nothing to do with me after my blow up last night. Sure there was a smile in the morning from her and some silly behavior but I'm sure I;ll be spending ooodles on therapy for her (or me) soon.


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