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Hurt

The negativity of it all really gets to me. Crushes my heart.

I should be stronger by now.

I have known my child for 12 years. Her behavior hasn't really changed in those 12 years. She's always been intense, and often times, wearily negative. Her grouchy mood isn't due to all the wonderful hormones rushing through her body. Actually her attitude is the same, only now she's louder and taller!

I try to stay in the moment of her bad mood. Try to figure out if there's some way to get her through it and have it be over and done. Try to help her learn from it so it won't happen, or won't be so bad, the next time something triggers the emotion. But I have a terrible habit of going to the extreme with my imagination. What if she completely loses it and hurts someone, her little sister, herself.

I wish my mind wouldn't go there.

I'm just so tired of it. I've spent practically her whole life trying to find ways to make things easier, or better, for her. I feel that nothing has worked.

My heart hurts.

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15 comments:

  1. Hugs! I wish I had some awesome advice to give. Have you considered therapy? For her? For yourself? Anyway...big hugs.

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  2. Sending ((big HUGS)) your way.

    I have often wondered what I will do when Trinity is at that age...
    My heart breaks for you.

    She sounds like I was. Oh, how my mother must have suffered, alone. Trying desperately to reach me. She did send me to therapy, and it did help. And for what it's worth, I did come around...
    My thoughts are with you ♥

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  3. My son is 10...and I've just received the third phone call from the principal since they started at their new school. The third letter...it crushes me. I don't want labels, I don't want suspensions...I want everyone to understand that his firey red hair and his firey temperament just neet time to age a little, to mellow... like mine did. *sigh* Hang in there.

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  4. (((HUGS))) Ann... with a challenging child like my Jojo I totally know where you are coming from... prayers and strength coming your way!

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  5. I am right there with you, but Tara's has worsened as the hormones increase. It is hard. I think my hurt for her is a bit lessened this year with virtual schooling... she is not dealing with the inevitable "mean girls" in school, but the moods from one extreme to another, some days I am just weary! I guess there are no clear answers for us but the good news is I think most moms survive!

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  6. Girls hang in there it gets better about the time they hit menopause. :)

    I have two moody ones. The oldest moody one I told her when she was about 4 she could get happy in those same panties she got mad in. She now says it to her 4 year old because that Mommiecurse works. You know the one "One day you will have a child just like you!"

    Sometimes all you can do is tell them to get over themselves.

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  7. Oh sweetie... I am here if you need a shoulder. Sending love and hugs your way.

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  8. Hope things get better.
    I'm following you and hope you'll follow me too.
    http://movingonfromthedrama.blogspot.com

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  9. Sending you good thoughts and lots of hugs.

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  10. I wonder sometimes about my eldest...he's so different from the other children...and many times negative. He's been through a lot in his short little life and sometimes I wonder if I'm just not enough "mom". It's that feeling like you've failed...and it isn't fun at all. (((Hugs)))

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  11. As a mom... we just keep trying. Cause that's what we do. Sorry to hear that things have been a bit rough. I've got my own DD (dramatic daughter). Only mine is 25 and still going strong...

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  12. Hugs to you. I'm a couple days late, but if you need an ear, I'm home today!

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