I thought I could do it. I thought I could take all the children of the neighborhood, and their friends too, and give them a fun, safe place to be this summer. It turns out that takes more inner strength than I possess. At least day-after-day.
I was able to get away for 2 whole nights last weekend. I had play-dates/sleep-overs arranged for both our girls, and our dog too. While away I received calls about behavior, along with "what should I do?" queries. Hmmm... I wasn't feeling so "away" anymore.
When I returned home I found my home filled with not only my husband and our girls, but 3 neighbor kids and a niece that needed a home for 3 nights. Hmmm...
One by one they greeted me with a hug. In my heart I knew this was a wonderful greeting but, in my head, I was screaming "Get OUT!!!" I put on a plastic smile and headed to my bedroom. Mommy needs a time out.
I couldn't believe how I felt. I was mad at myself. How could I be upset with the fact that kids wanted to be at my house? I should feel happy that they like to hang out here. But I wasn't happy. I started to cry. And I couldn't stop. I had the fleeting thought of 'This must be what a nervous breakdown feels like'.
I stayed in my room for the longest time. I organized my closet and put away clothes that had been in a pile for a month. I went through my drawers and discarded old t's that I knew I would never wear again. I dusted the dresser and tossed old perfume that had lost it's sweetness and smelled like vinegar. Not sexy, unless you're an Easter egg.
It was a good Mommy's Time Out. Very necessary. I'm more aware of my limits now. I am saying "No" more often. I feel a bit sad but, my sad feeling doesn't stay long. I want all the kids to have fun and be safe. I now know that I need to save me first.
I was able to get away for 2 whole nights last weekend. I had play-dates/sleep-overs arranged for both our girls, and our dog too. While away I received calls about behavior, along with "what should I do?" queries. Hmmm... I wasn't feeling so "away" anymore.
When I returned home I found my home filled with not only my husband and our girls, but 3 neighbor kids and a niece that needed a home for 3 nights. Hmmm...
One by one they greeted me with a hug. In my heart I knew this was a wonderful greeting but, in my head, I was screaming "Get OUT!!!" I put on a plastic smile and headed to my bedroom. Mommy needs a time out.
I couldn't believe how I felt. I was mad at myself. How could I be upset with the fact that kids wanted to be at my house? I should feel happy that they like to hang out here. But I wasn't happy. I started to cry. And I couldn't stop. I had the fleeting thought of 'This must be what a nervous breakdown feels like'.
I stayed in my room for the longest time. I organized my closet and put away clothes that had been in a pile for a month. I went through my drawers and discarded old t's that I knew I would never wear again. I dusted the dresser and tossed old perfume that had lost it's sweetness and smelled like vinegar. Not sexy, unless you're an Easter egg.
It was a good Mommy's Time Out. Very necessary. I'm more aware of my limits now. I am saying "No" more often. I feel a bit sad but, my sad feeling doesn't stay long. I want all the kids to have fun and be safe. I now know that I need to save me first.