The thought of wearing a bathing suit is something I've never been comfortable with. And it has nothing to do with the size of my thighs or the width of my hips or the range of my rack. All my life I've dealt with something that has made me very self conscious. And the only thing that took me away from my self-absorption was becoming a mother.
I was born with a birthmark on my back. When bathing suit season came around I made sure my swimsuit was a certain style so my birthmark wouldn't show. All my friends had a "two-piece" while I was the one in the body covering "one-piece". I lived my life thinking that if people knew of this "thing" I have on my back that they wouldn't... oh, I don't know, wouldn't like me anymore. Stupid, I know. But self-absorption does that to you.
When my purpose in this world became more about someone else's well-being and less about whatever unique feature I had, it was freeing. When you're a mom you don't have time to be self aware. I think back on all the wasted time fretting at poolside, thinking 'Everyones looking at me!' instead of enjoying myself. (And by "poolside" I mean my life.) So much wasted time spent on worrying.
My children have given me a wonderful gift. I have no time for self-obsession. I'm very grateful.
I was born with a birthmark on my back. When bathing suit season came around I made sure my swimsuit was a certain style so my birthmark wouldn't show. All my friends had a "two-piece" while I was the one in the body covering "one-piece". I lived my life thinking that if people knew of this "thing" I have on my back that they wouldn't... oh, I don't know, wouldn't like me anymore. Stupid, I know. But self-absorption does that to you.
When my purpose in this world became more about someone else's well-being and less about whatever unique feature I had, it was freeing. When you're a mom you don't have time to be self aware. I think back on all the wasted time fretting at poolside, thinking 'Everyones looking at me!' instead of enjoying myself. (And by "poolside" I mean my life.) So much wasted time spent on worrying.
My children have given me a wonderful gift. I have no time for self-obsession. I'm very grateful.