The thought of wearing a bathing suit is something I've never been comfortable with. And it has nothing to do with the size of my thighs or the width of my hips or the range of my rack. All my life I've dealt with something that has made me very self conscious. And the only thing that took me away from my self-absorption was becoming a mother.
I was born with a birthmark on my back. When bathing suit season came around I made sure my swimsuit was a certain style so my birthmark wouldn't show. All my friends had a "two-piece" while I was the one in the body covering "one-piece". I lived my life thinking that if people knew of this "thing" I have on my back that they wouldn't... oh, I don't know, wouldn't like me anymore. Stupid, I know. But self-absorption does that to you.
When my purpose in this world became more about someone else's well-being and less about whatever unique feature I had, it was freeing. When you're a mom you don't have time to be self aware. I think back on all the wasted time fretting at poolside, thinking 'Everyones looking at me!' instead of enjoying myself. (And by "poolside" I mean my life.) So much wasted time spent on worrying.
My children have given me a wonderful gift. I have no time for self-obsession. I'm very grateful.
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I hear ya sista!
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I still kinda dread swimsuit season....
I am learning that too, I never got braces, my family couldn't afford them, so I have always bee SO self conscious about my front teeth. I am doing better now, but I still want braces! Thanks for posting this, helps to know that not everyone is perfect =)
ReplyDeleteKids sure will do that to you won't they?! That is until they point out the one physical aspect you've been hiding all your life and make a big deal out of it (definitely NOT speaking from experience here ~cough~coug~)...then you turn it into a lesson on having tact, or loving people for who they are and not what they look like, etc...Good Post...I enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteHee hee. Kids give us all kinds of unexpected gifts, don't they?
ReplyDeleteSo you don't worry about the birthmark anymore, or was that just a metaphor/example?
ReplyDeleteWhatever it is, I'm glad you can look at things differently now.
Justine :o 0
Nope.
ReplyDeleteI don't worry about it any more.
Why waste the time?
Fantastic post! It is so funny how much we used to obsess about things when we were younger.
ReplyDeleteI haven't thought of that aspect of parenthood in a very long time. Thanks for reminding me!
ReplyDeleteDoes that mean you wear a two piece now?
ReplyDeleteLove this!! I was always self conscious of my mini girls. Of course, I was the ONLY one without any cleavage and what guy would want a girl without girls?? I am so glad to be over that... but it was such a time suck!
ReplyDeleteAren't kids great! The moment when I decided not to worry so much about my body was after I'd decided I couldn't be seen in a 2 piece on a trip to Jamaica. Once I was there & saw all the people who WERE wearing them, I thought, Damn, I look pretty good! And after a week peeling off a wet one piece buzzed on rum, I knew for sure, just go ahead & wear the two piece! :)
ReplyDeleteI still feel self conscious sometimes, but them I remember we only have one life to live. I wear what I want to and say what I want to.
ReplyDeleteMy problem is grabbing life by the horns and acting on my dreams. I'm on my way to breaking that barrier though. It's such a freeing feeling!
Great lesson to remember. Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate - becoming a mom really is a 'freeing' experience, isn't it? :)
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