*****************

*****************

Yes! Please Hold The Door!

I want the door held opened for me. I want the chair pulled away from the table for me to sit in. I want flowers! I want cards! I want appreciation! (Wait... I'm getting off topic here. Valentine's Day is coming soon Honey, if you're reading this ;-> )

Miss Manner's had a question today from a gentleman asking if he should continue to hold doors open for women. He was raised in the South however, when he moved North he found his gesture to annoy more women than he ever expected.

I kind of get it.

I asked friends their opinion and it created an interesting discussion. Some women think it shows weakness on their part to have a man open a door. Some feel very uncomfortable, they feel a stranger is getting too close. OK. I hear ya'.

But just to take the gesture for what it is, showing respect for your presence, that's what I go with. I do NOT feel that I owe a man anything other than a 'Thank You' when a door is held open. (I'm talking a stranger here, not my husband.) I don't need to strike up a conversation or, in turn, give him the grocery cart that I was going to use. He opened the door like a gentleman should and that's that.

I appreciate respect. I appreciate 'appreciation'. (And Honey, a nice box of See's Candy would do nicely, thank you!)

How do you feel about this issue?

Stumble Upon Toolbar

19 comments:

  1. i used to want to do it all myself, but I discovered in my old age that miss independent is overrated. Give me a guy with manners anyday!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I totally appreciate a door held open for me...and even my almost 12 year old will comment when a gentleman (or young man) has been nice enough to do so. Just the other day, we were going into the video store, Tara was way ahead of me, and a gentleman going in held the door for Tara and waited for me to finally get there... we both thanked him, and commented how nice it was of him.

    I totally appreciate it when these types of courteous gestures are bestowed upon me(us), treating us except for the father's of friends, Tara is not often "exposed" to much maleness since her dad is not in her life, and we have not family here with us in FL.....so when strangers are courteous I appreciate it. Did I totally go off tangent there? Sorry

    ReplyDelete
  3. It matters how you were brought up how you feel about the door being open for you. I'm from the SOUTH and I'm OLD so I LOVE the door held open for me. I'm not prissy as you well know and I've been riding motor cycles since I was six. I think opening the door for a lady shows RESPECT.

    If you listen hard you can hear Aretha Franklin singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T . . .

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am always grateful when someone opens a door for me, whether it's a male or a female. And I always say "thank you". It's nice.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I totally agree with you. I like having the door opened for me and I bestow a smile and a "thank you." I've even taught my son to do this (which he does when he remembers and wants to be gentlemanly). On the same hand, I open doors for gentleman (and women, too)sometimes if I get there first; it's just common courtesy.

    I wish my husband would open doors for me, but he sees it more as "whoever gets there first goes through the door." I'm sure it was how he was brought up. For me, I love the courtesy.

    I've met only one other man besides my dad who ever showed the old-fashioned courtesy of walking on the outside of the sidewalk and having the female walk on the inside. It was a guy I became friends with my sophomore year of college and we used to take walks into downtown Monmouth (Oregon) together. I kept wondering why he would zig-zag around me as I walked (I just walked wherever)and he finally told me. I loved it! He was gentleman in that and in opening doors for women, too. His parents raised him well! (Too bad he was gay...{gorgeous, too!})

    ReplyDelete
  6. I gotta say... I am spoiled in this area... My hubby is actually very romantic, and holds doors, opens the car door, all that kida stuff. Sometimes I do like to be independent but most of the time it is a treat!I just have to remind my self that I cant take it for granted..

    ReplyDelete
  7. I want it all done for me! And I am trying to teach my sons to do it for others as well.

    ReplyDelete
  8. As you know, people here in NY are so rude, I am lucky they don't slam the door in my face!
    So yeah, any polite gesture is always appreciated. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Personally, I would like to be waited on hand and foot from now until the end of time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hmmm...well, it is annoying when you can tell that the guy is doing it just because he thinks he has to. And I was never crazy about the whole "let-me-walk-ALL-the-way-over-to-the-other-side-of-car-just-to-open-the-door" thing. Just get in already! I guess I'm not too old fashioned but I do like manners:)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Open doors, windows, whatever. It's all good to me!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I expect some of the little courtesies and I'm not usually disappointed. I try and teach my son to be polite by doing these things as well.

    If a stranger does it I say 'thank you' and smile. They smile back. That's it.

    Hubby won't open the card door for me unless I'm very dressed up, we're being driven somewhere or catching a cab etc. On other occasions I'm usually running late and he's already got the car at the front door waiting for me!

    He usually opens the door for me, but is rarely around to do it ;)

    When we're walking down the street he walks closest to the vehicles and so on. I guess I just take it for granted!

    ReplyDelete
  13. It just sounds like politeness to me, and being polite is always in fashion!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Same here!! I hope to teach my boys the same kind of respect!

    ReplyDelete
  15. YES. You hold doors open for women.

    you know why?

    Not because they are inferior creatures.

    Because they're not.

    you know why?

    Because thats what your mother taught you to do.

    And that's it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. It's important to take it for what it is worth...opening a door for anyone by anyone is a very nice gesture. I like it and also do not feel there needs to be any additional niceties attached.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love it. It makes me mad when men don't. But, I hold the door for them too. It's just a nice gesture.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I expect that the doors will be held for me or any other woman by my DH and my sons (ages 9,8,&6). My DH also always opens my car door for me. It isn't that I'm weak or that women are weak. It is a kind way to be that shows they appreciate women for other things.

    ReplyDelete
  19. The sad thing is, boys are taught this anymore. I love having the door opened for me and a chair pulled out. My hubby doesn't open the car door for me any more unless I say something. After a while you just end up doing everything for yourself.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to comment! I hope you enjoyed your visit.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin