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The Pants

I finally lost the weight and was able to fit into a gorgeous pair of slate grey pants that I'd found at Ann Taylor. In my earlier attempts to wear these pants I found the pocket outline to show way too much. It drew attention where I did NOT want any attention at all, so I cut them out. (I think I saw Stacy London from TLC's "What Not To Wear" do it once.)

That was a while ago, so when I put the pants on yesterday to accompany my mom to her church service, all I was focusing on was the fact that I could actually fit into them. Finally! (The Wii Fit is workin' for me!)

The time came for us to walk to the alter for Communion. I was in front of my mother. Imagine her surprise when she see's her daughter kneel down at the alter only to have a bit of cheek show where once there was a silk lined back pocket.

"Ann!" She loudly whispered "Pull down your top! I can see your bottom!" I looked over my shoulder at her 'What?!?' It appears the pocket that I so recklessly cut out months ago separates when I kneel or sit. Oh-my-God. I've flashed the congregation!

The Father comes to me and places a wafer in my out-stretched hands "In name of the Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost". I popped that wafer in my mouth so fast and grabbed the bottom of my sweater to pull it down to my knees.

The acolyte was next with the chalice of wine. What you are supposed to do is help them gently guide the chalice to your mouth with your hands. What I did was more of a nudge-with-the-chin-and-make-fish-lips to get the drink to my mouth. I was NOT letting go of my sweater!

As I walked away from the alter I apologized to my mom and silently prayed that no one else saw. Or, if they did see, maybe they would say "Hey, that Wii Fit is really working!"

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30 comments:

  1. Are you Episcopal?!

    That would be SOO embarassing... our priests probably would have laughed had they seen something like that, but then I guess they'd be on the other side of the altar... still funny!

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  2. Oh that is too funny.
    Somewhere there's a joke about flashing your holy goodies.
    PS- Good for you for getting in shape. I really need to get me a Wii fit. Then there will be no more excuses. Maybe. :)

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  3. so not funny... so why and I laughing right now?? LOL.... terrible thing to have happen to u! BUT 1. I love Stacy from WNTW
    and 2. I love the Wii fit... so you are all good!

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  4. thanks again, Ann, for making me spit out my coffee. I just love your blog!

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  5. Oh my!! Well, at least you looked good - even if you were flashing everyone. :)

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  6. OMG!!! I am laughing WITH you and not AT you!!!!

    You should have smiled and said I love my WII Fit!!!!! Then striked a pose!

    Thanks for visiting my blog! I am following you now and look forward to reading your blod posts!
    Michelle :)

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  7. OMG!!! You crazy woman!!
    I hope the congregation has recovered!
    LOL

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  8. Oh my, I am sorry you had this happen to you... after the fact it is a funny story, and we do have to laugh at ourselves, but how you must have felt!

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  9. That is a riot. But good for that Wii Fit really working!

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  10. oh that is too funny but sorry that it happened!

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  11. LOL... At least you fit into the pants! I need to do the Wii fit more.

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  12. Hahahaha! Good one! Thanks for the laugh!

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  13. My heavens, I would have died. At least you can be comical about it in the writing. And yes, Wii Fit DOES work!

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  14. Hey, I think I need the Wii fit! Good and bad news about the pants. I guess you just need to stitch that pocket closed and you'll be good to go.

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  15. Church flashing!! That's priceless. So sorry for you but funny for us!

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  16. Oh no, that is too funny. I would have been so mortified!

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  17. LOL.... I shouldn't laugh... but it's funny. I would of died right then and there.

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  18. Oh my girlie!! Flashing you backside to the entire church? You definitely will be the talk of the town now :)

    Congrats on being able to wear those super sexy pants!

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  19. Oh, no!!! See? There is a reason to stay fat, LOL!! (Yay for you though!!!!)

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  20. Hehehe, Thanks for kick-starting my day with your funny post!

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  21. I cut the pockets out of my pants too :)

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  22. I was just thinking I need some Ann Taylor pants. It's a sign that I must shop!

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  23. Honey, if they ain't seen ass yet, they need to.

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  24. LOL! I'm so glad I came to visit your page today... you're too funny. How embarrassing! Atleast you had a shirt that was stretchable and could pull down. :)

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  25. oh and great job on getting more fit! it feels great doesn't it?! :)

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  26. OMG that's too funny! At least you didn't bend over and rip your pants... skinny vs fat problem lol

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